With Promises to Keep by Ellie Dean

With Promises to Keep by Ellie Dean
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - in and out over 3 days

Publisher - Penguin books

Pages - 383

Blurb from Goodreads

The year of 1947 is almost upon them, and the community of Cliffehaven is still reeling from the tragic loss of Gracie, who left behind two young orphans.

Polish refugee and nurse Danuta made Gracie a to love and cherish her children as her own. But with her husband’s health failing, can Danuta’s promise be fulfilled?

Then a bitter winter storm cuts the town off. Peggy Reilly and the rest of Cliffehaven must pull together to survive.


My Review


So first off this is book twenty one in a series, I did not know this lol but it is all good and after reading this I will be going back, buying book one and starting there. It is 1947, folk are still feeling the effects post war, we meet (or if you know the series, reacquaint) with Polish refugee nurse Danuta and her husband Stan. Danuta made a promise to Grace she would look after her two children, one being a baby. It is all a bit precarious, adoption has a lot of expectation an standards, Stan has health issues with his stumps (amputee), they both work and struggle to make ends meet. However a promise is a promise and they will do what they can to keep their word, plus Danuta has always wanted a family, after the tortures during the war she cannot have her own. It is an emotive multifaceted road Danuta is on, many struggles and hurdles facing her, can she get the family she always wanted despite the odds stacked against her.

So I am absolutely getting the other books, it is a small community, it has what you know in these wee towns, classism, snobbery, even when you are all a bit skint there are folks who will gossip and judge so we do see a bit of that. Danuta and Stan are so in love and clearly already been through so much, I reckon if you know the previous books things will pack a bit more of an emotive punch but I still liked it and got it despite this being my first foray into the series, 4/5 for me.

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The Hospital by Leslie Wolfe

The Hospital by Leslie Wolfe
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 2 days

Pages - 322

Publisher - Bookouture

Source - Review copy & bought one

Blurb from Goodreads

I should feel safe here. I don’t.

I thought I had it all. The loving husband I married on a beach, sand between my toes. The career I fought for. The beautiful home tucked away between pines and mountains.

But my perfect life crumbled when my husband betrayed me. And then it started. Everywhere I went, someone was following me… But no one believed me. Were they right? Was I losing my mind?

Then, one day, I wake up with a searing pain in my head, and only the sound of sirens and distant conversations to pierce my confusion.

I’ve been attacked. I’m in the hospital.

It should be reassuring. But all I can think is: I’m trapped.

I must escape. But I know I can’t trust anyone, and I’ll do whatever it takes to save myself.

You will never see the twists coming in this jaw-on-the-floor gasp-out-loud rollercoaster from the no.1 bestselling author of The Surgeon. Fans of Freida McFadden, Lisa Jewell and Shari Lapena won’t be able to put it down!



My Review

She is running, she is injured, she wakes in a hospital, unable to move, unable to see - she can talk but that is about it. She knows she was attacked and she knows she isn't safe, how can she protect herself when she doesn't know who hurt her and can't get her body to move.

So the book bounces between the main character Emma confined to a hospital bed, immobile and we hear from the bad guy, the person who committed the atrocity against Emma and they are OBSESSED! So we know Emma was assaulted and almost died and now is essentially locked in, cared for around the clock, frustrated with her lack of memory and her body's brokenness. We bounce around as she grasps for her memories, tries to get any kind of movement going and frantically find out who is after her.

I did take a bit to settle into the book as the narrator is so unreliable, she has a traumatic brain injury so we are finding out about her as she is. Things jump around a bit which I found a wee bit distracting but I think it adds strength to the character, you are meant to be unsettled and frustrated because she is and it is her story. I had suspicious/guesses galore, I was a bit like when watching an episode of Murder She Wrote lol, I have about twenty theories so one ought to stick!

Some shady characters, cheating, manipulation, frustration, health/recovery (or lack of) and processing her past as it is all coming back to her slowly as she is confined to body and bed. I would say the last quarter really came into its own so I was back and fourth on my rating. I am going for 3.5/5 (I added the .5 because the later part really was WOW, well for me anyway). This was my first by this author, it won't be my last.

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Apologies from me

Sorry for the radio silence, delays in responses and you will have noticed (if you come here often) we haven't posted a review which isn't us. I am sick :/ but I usually have reviews prepped and ready to go. I thought I just had a chest infection and a bit run down as everything is so busy just now. Dudes, you know I never do anything by halves.

Still spiking temps but yesterday was the highest however we managed to get the docs and now have meds so hopefully with some rest (we slept less than 10 hours broke sleep since Sunday) and you know we can cope with most stuff but fling in lack of sleep :/

Luna has been adorable and my shadow, I am "sleeping" downstairs to try and save o/h getting sick. He has been awesome going to docs, pharmacy, shops for supplies.

Guys he even made homemade soup for me, potatoes, garlic and leek, when your throat is molten lava and even swallowing is agony, soup is just the bestest.

Apologies for not having sent out parcels that are awaited, we had everything planned for Monday but struck really unwell Sunday night. I think o/h may be enjoying the silence lol.

I think my biggest complaint, excluding brain fog, rigours, constant lurgyness, throat/ears feeling like a hot poker has been placed in them - for me is normally when you are unwell you still have the joy of books. You can read/escape into a book and take your mind off it. I think I have read about 50 pages total since Sunday, concentration is just terrible. A few folk had asked about the book (as you know I normally read a book within a day or can be 4-6 hours if I love it) - it is absolutely a me issue not the book. We LOVE Tilly and Poe and our current read is "The Mercy Chair" by M W Craven, short chapters which we love and is great when your brain is a bit mush but with everything - I am just feeling so ugh, struggling to concentrate. The book is fab (so far) so no the book is grand.

We have had a fair amount of post coming in too and behind on posts/unboxing,, I have put a wee post on today Insta and our TT to at least let the small businesses know they have arrived safely. Once we are feeling a bit more human and have our voice back we will catch up properly. Any outstanding prizes/parcels will be posted out once we are back fighting fit but just wanted to apologise/update, we are just toast and not the good kind.

We also got a new booklight for review, green, cute - I had it out briefly last night, we like it. To be fair I don't think we have met one yet we didn't like but these wee small light (in weight/size) ones. We will give it a proper checkout/review when we feel more human but it was out last night. Hope everyone is well and this finds you better than it leaves us.

A Thousand Boy Kisses by Tillie Cole

A Thousand Boy Kisses by Tillie Cole
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 316

Publisher - Penguin

Source - Bought

Blurb from Goodreads

One kiss lasts a moment. But a thousand kisses can last a lifetime. One boy. One girl. A bond that is forged in an instant and cherished for a decade. A bond that neither time nor distance can break. A bond that will last forever. Or so they believe.

When seventeen-year-old Rune Kristiansen returns from his native Norway to the sleepy town of Blossom Grove, Georgia, where he befriended Poppy Litchfield as a child, he has just one thing on his mind. Why did the girl who was one half of his soul, who promised to wait faithfully for his return, cut him off without a word of explanation? Rune's heart was broken two years ago when Poppy fell silent. When he discovers the truth, he finds that the greatest heartache is yet to come.

A stand-alone young adult tearjerker romance, recommended for ages fourteen and up.



My Review

I kept seeing everyone talking about this and how it ripped their heart out, I don't cry much so figured I would check it out, absolute FOMO. Well the problem is, from the blurb you don't really know why folk had the emotionals and I wasn't expecting it, even from the first chapter we get a sad emotive slap in the kisser. The book takes us through Poppy and Rune meeting as kids, their friendship and relationship blossoming and then as teenagers after a sudden and brutal period of them being cut off for two years, the awkward reunion because Rune isn't the boy Poppy remembers.

Young love guys, you remember being a teen and having that wild emotions, first love, hormones so it has all that but takes a deeper level. It is hard to review why the book is so emotive without giving spoilers and we don't do that here.

Lets just say depending on your lived experiences I think it packs a harder punch and it was a bit close to home for me, I wasn't expecting it so a bit of a throat punch. A few parts of it I was reading with that painful lump in my throat & did end up with wet eyes once or twice (we don't cry here).

Young love, relationships, heartache, health issues, bad boy behaviours, family, friendship and a sweet romantic gestures but also some questionable behaviours. One thing I will say, after reading this book I will never look at a Cherry Blossom tree the same way again and without thinking about this book, 4/5.

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Born In A Burial Gown by M W Craven

Born in a Burial Gown by M.W. Craven
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 2 days

Pages - 304

Publisher - Constable

Source - Bought


Detective Inspector Avison Fluke is a man on the edge. He has committed a crime to get back to work, concealed a debilitating illness and is about to be made homeless. Just as he thinks things can’t get any worse, the body of a young woman is found buried on a wet, Cumbrian building site.

Shot once in the back of the head, execution style, it is a cold, calculated murder. When the post-mortem reveals she has gone to significant expense in disguising her appearance, and the only clue to her identity is a strange series of numbers, Fluke knows this is no ordinary murder.

With the help of a psychotic ex-Para, a gangland leader and a woman more interested in maggots than people, Fluke must find out who she was and why she was murdered before he can even think about finding her killer. As the body count rises and his investigation takes him from poverty stricken estates to picture perfect Lake District villages, he realises his troubles are only just beginning.

Because someone, somewhere has a plan and if Fluke can’t figure out what’s happening, he may just be next.



My Review

So I came to Craven's books with the Tilly and Poe series and I LOVE them so I was a bit cautious approaching this because I can be a pie like that. You know what I mean like you enjoy something so much so when you try something different by the same author you can be biased against it. Anyways, Fluke is a cop (detective inspector) and manages a team of misfits, we don't see too much of them in this book but his partner Towler is ex army or marine, I like him. He is nuts, an absolute machine of a man, fantastic at what he does and has some mouth on him, if swearing upsets you this isn't the book for you. There was one line "Listen, you little tit," I was howling, the character isn't Scottish but I heard it in a Scottish accent and haven't heard someone insult someone calling them a wee tit in years! The character is brilliantly brutal and he isn't even the main dude. Anyway, back to Fluke, we know quickly there is something wrong with him but he is back at work, pushing on and folk don't know, nor do we what is wrong with him. As the book progresses I was so impressed by the realism of a lot of the medical stuff and actually the author has been through the mill, medically, himself and the authenticity of that really shows in those parts of the book.

The opening chapter is brutal/graphic and quite dark, the male prostitute who witnesses a body dump and there begins our story. The body is passed to Fluke's team because the higher ups don't think it is going to be anything more than maybe a domestic however it turns out to be an execution (no spoilers its on the back cover) and things really kick off. I also liked the in depth chat on how they work out information with bugs/flies/maggots etc information from a dead body and how that helps with the investigation.

The book bounces between the investigation and Fluke trying to do his job whilst battling a condition he is keeping from his colleagues. It is a pretty dark, twisted thriller and book one of two (I checked Fantastic Fiction) and will be getting the second one. I hope we get to know more of the team but Fluke and Towler make for good reading, 4/5.

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One Moment by Becky Hunter

One Moment by Becky Hunter
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 2 days

Pages - 306

Publisher - Corvus

Source - Review copy

Blurb from Goodreads

An emotional, heart-wrenching and uplifting story about friendship, love and sacrifice, perfect for fans of David Nicholls and Holly Miller.

One moment in time can change everything...

The day Scarlett dies should have been one of the most important of her life. It doesn't feel fair that she'll never have the chance to fulfil her dreams. And now, she's still ... here - wherever here is - watching the ripple effect of her death on the lives of those she loved the most.

Evie cannot contemplate her life without Scarlett, and she certainly cannot forgive Nate, the man she blames for her best friend's death. But Nate keeps popping up when she least expects him to, catapulting Evie's life in directions she'd never let herself imagine possible. Ways, perhaps, even those closest to her had long since given up on.

If you could go back, knowing everything that happens after, everything that happens because of that one moment in time, would you change the course of history or would you do it all again?



My Review

So as always no spoilers and the death is mentioned in the blurb and happens opening chapters so no spoilers guys don't worry. Evie and Scarlett are besties, they are polar opposites and we know early on Evie has some struggles but we don't know exactly what. The morning it happens the girls are awkward with each other but Scarlett has to rush off and they will make it up with she gets home. Sadly Scarlett won't get home, an accident will see her ripped out of Evie's life and Nate will be brought in. Evie can't bear to look at him and yet he has answers and Nate want's to help so fate has flung them together. Evie needs to navigate through her health issues/personal problems and Nate wants to be there for her. Between the two of them and Scarlett's ghost hanging around overseeing all we follow them from before the accident, to the accident and the ripples and aftermath of what follows.

Yeah we have a ghost in the book, taking us back in the past to her and Evie, following around from the accident and thereafter. Evie's personal journey through loss, grief, anger pretty much all the stages of grief but with the addition of the ghost of her pal (no one can see nor hear her it is just us readers who know of her presence and how she processes her sudden death).

The book is a bit bittersweet, Scarlett is such a force of life and Evie is so recluse, has issues and that is before the sudden devastating loss of her bestie. It is a journey of personal growth, acceptance and all the things we see and feel after such a huge and unexpected loss. The book gives sadness, loss, hurt, hope, joy even humour in some parts, it is a bit of a rollercoaster. I think depending on your own experiences and where you are at in life will see how you gel with the book. 3.5/5 from us this time, this is my first time reading this author and would read her again for sure.

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Q&A with Xena Knox

Welcome to our wee Q&A with author Xena Knox.

You can find Xena on Twitter Instagram or Tiktok.

You can find my non spoiler review of Sh!t Bag HERE and it is out to buy from Amazon now.

Now, enjoy our author interview:

Q1. Tell us a bit about yourself, Xena

Just a wee bit - I’m Scottish. I’m straight talking, passionate, fair (I like to champion the underdog) and sometimes a bit scary if you get on the wrong side of me. I don’t just write. I’m good at getting my hands dirty (my nails are awful) digging in the mud growing flowers or mucking around with my horses. I love writing with humour and about gritty reality.

Q2. What made you decide to write your debut

SH!T BAG - my debut YA novel - is an up-close and very personal story about life with ostomies (poo bags in this instance). It’s based on my own life experiences and so the story is a reaction to public negativity or misunderstandings around what it’s like living with an ostomy. I wanted to educate, yes, but in the main, I wanted to change attitudes towards ostomies and people with them (ostomates) by placing the reader in the body of the main character looking outwards. So that they could really feel what it’s like to be judged, degraded, mocked … for something that’s quite literally life or death, or living.
And this includes medical professionals - just because someone technically knows what an ostomy is, works with ostomates or even creates them. This doesn’t mean they have an automatic comprehension or empathy (from a personal and human pov) of what it’s like to live with one day-in-day-out, every waking and sleeping moment.

Q3. The protagonist is 16, why did you choose to write it from the view point of a teenager?

A couple of reasons.
Based on my own interactions, I feel teens don’t have the squeamish preconceptions about ostomies that older parents and grandparents do. So, it felt important to educate and inform (readers) at an early age before misinformation and negativity can creep in.
And, I first became ill at eighteen, so, although I was a little older than Freya, 16 feels an incredibly pivotal age, stepping across the threshold of life from child to adult. It felt ‘right’ to have Freya that age. And I have a tendency to be quite edgy in my language so I really think any younger than 16 and I wouldn’t have been able to have Freya speak in her ‘unique’ voice.

Q4. The book deals with so many important issues, not just ostomies but body image and relationships – was that important for you?

Definitely.
Writing is a funny thing, though. My characters are alive in my head. They’re incredibly complex and nuanced. I know exactly what they ‘would’ and ‘wouldn’t’ do. And so, it can sometimes take until after multiple redrafts before I’m aware of the themes and ‘issues’ (for want of a better term) I’ve addressed or included in my story. They bubble to the surface after placing those ‘real’ characters in certain situations/environments etc.
But to label a couple of those ‘messages’ -
No matter how I repackage them in different characters and stories, I appear to consistently champion respecting other people for being their unique selves. And empowering individuals to define their boundaries and voice them.

Q5. Did you have to do a lot of research for your book and if so, are you are happy to discuss some of it?

Research was minimal and mostly checking for new treatments etc. Like most IBD sufferers (whether you’ve had a bowel resection/ostomy or pouch…) I’m an ‘expert’ on this through sheer crappy luck of having lived it as my life since I was 18, and being educated by surgeons or reading or sharing experiences with others going through similar or worse. I’ve had many, many surgeries, things go wrong, or malfunction, or had to develop my own coping strategies…
You’ve heard it here first – a SH!T BAG exclusive – both Freya’s experiences AND Mel’s, are my lived experiences.

Q6. If readers only take one thing away from reading your book what would you like it to be?

You know yourself and your own body.

Q7. What is next for you?

I’m working on book two. It’s a standalone - so not a sequel to SH!T BAG. It does follow my core values - respecting other people for being their unique selves. And empowering individuals to define their boundaries and voice them.

Q8. Anything else you would like to add?

Ummm, yes!
I have a question for you, Lainy:
Your review of SH!T BAG was bang-on what I was trying, and hoping, to convey. So, I think you get me quite well, so far. What sort of material would you like to see me address in a future novel?

I would keep the same format style, important issues - especially health issues where you are giving the condition(s) a face, a chance for people to humanise and see how careless remarks/behaviours can have such a huge impact. I think it also gives a chance for people to empathise and really relate to something/someone that they maybe otherwise wouldn't. For example the "nickname" and the huge impact/knock on affect it had and things like that, a cheeky remark or "it was just a joke" can really impact someone.

Thanks so much for reading SH!T BAG, championing it and inviting me to this Q&A!
Much love!
Xena Xx

Sh!t Bag by Xena Knox

SH!T BAG: A darkly funny story about life with an ostomy bag by Xena Knox
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 296

Publisher - Hodder Children's books

Source - Review copy

Blurb from Goodreads

'Come along with me on this sh!tty ride or bail out now. It's your choice . . .'

When Freya collapses and wakes up with a temporary ileostomy bag on her stomach, her dreams of the perfect summer go down the toilet. Instead of partying in the Algarve, she's packed off to 'Poo Camp' - a place for kids with bowel disease to 'bond'.

And things can only get worse. Someone has started calling her 'Sh!t Bag' . . . and it's catching on.

Freya decides to live up to the nickname, raging at her friends, her ex and the world. Only her campmate Chris seems to see past her new attitude . . .

Can Freya get her sh!t together or will she end up with just her bag by her side?

A fresh, fierce and funny story about what happens when life literally goes to sh!t.


My Review

Meet Freya, a regular sixteen year old, popular, hockey player, dating one of the popular boys, she has it all. Until she collapses and wakes in hospital to find she has an ileostomy and everything changes. Kids can be brutal, judgemental, and something like an ileostomy can have such a huge life changing impact, regardless of age. We follow Freya trying to come to terms with life now as she knows it, the impact on her body, her friends, her relationship, her family and her own body image. When she goes to a camp, against her will, Freya finds people similar to herself and trying to work through her rage and coming to terms with her new name and bag.

I think having the protagonist as a sixteen year old is a great move, whilst the majority of characters are teenagers the way the book is written, regardless of your age you can absolutely relate to the situations/interactions. Body image is something many of us, regardless of age and gender, struggle with and or have issue with as we grow. Add into that suddenly having an ileostomy so we go through a very important journey and education alongside Freya aka Sh!t bag.

The book looks at relationships, health journey, self acceptance, friendships and I think and this is so important and educates about stoma's, particularly ileostomy's. A book that teaches/educates in a non preachy and more with a *living example, you get to go with them as they endure/have their life experiences is so important. I love books like that, it helps give readers empathy and an understanding, in this case, how something as simple as a jokey nickname (pretty cruel as often can be) can impact on someone. It also shows strength of character and the vast array of emotions a person can go through having such a huge change to their lives/body and the importance of peoples attitudes to themselves and others.

It has quirks, humour, a lot of swearing (I mean the title should give the reader a heads up), anger, some teen angst but the books overall message is so much more than that. I would love to see more books that do this, I think "Sh!t Bag" is echoing for Ileostomy's what "Still Alice" did for Alzheimer's by giving you a person to relate to, going through it, and an insight into living with a medical condition, 4/5 for me.

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Every note Played by Lisa Genova

Every Note Played by Lisa Genova
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - < 1 day

Pages - 316

Publisher - Allen & Unwin

Source - Bought

Blurb from Goodreads

An accomplished concert pianist, Richard received standing ovations from audiences all over the world in awe of his rare combination of emotional resonance and flawless technique. Every finger of his hands was a finely calibrated instrument, dancing across the keys and striking each note with exacting precision. That was eight months ago.

Richard now has ALS, and his entire right arm is paralyzed. His fingers are impotent, still, devoid of possibility. The loss of his hand feels like a death, a loss of true love, a divorce—his divorce.

He knows his left arm will go next.

Three years ago, Karina removed their framed wedding picture from the living room wall and hung a mirror there instead. But she still hasn’t moved on. Karina is paralyzed by excuses and fear, stuck in an unfulfilling life as a piano teacher, afraid to pursue the path she abandoned as a young woman, blaming Richard and their failed marriage for all of it.

When Richard becomes increasingly paralyzed and is no longer able to live on his own, Karina becomes his reluctant caretaker. As Richard’s muscles, voice, and breath fade, both he and Karina try to reconcile their past before it’s too late.


My Review

Richard is a gifted piano player, travelling and playing worldwide. He left his wife and daughter three years ago, lives in a beautiful apartment & eats and drinks the best of foods. Karina his ex wife gave up her own musical career so he could flourish and she would raise their kid. Grace is now in college - loves mum, hates dad, Karina (wife/mum) is a bit lost and Richard is intolerable with his self absorbed attitude. Everyone knows their place in the world and everything is fine until Richard starts to experience some issues with his fingers/hand. Richard is diagnosed with ALS, he remains stubborn and refuses to accept the inevitable, regardless of his acceptance or telling anyone ALS is here and life as they know it is about to change.

Oh you guys, I love Genova's books (not always how they end) but she brings these horrific diagnosis's to life, gives them faces, names and the reader experiences and lives it with the characters. The one with the condition, the families and loved ones viewing it, processing it, enduring it, the person trying to come to terms and a very real picture of how it tears their lives apart.

I had a hard time relating to Richard, he is not a likable character but you soon feel for him as everything he knows is stripped away. I had a lump in my throat a few times because it is just such a horrific condition that strips the person of everything, literally everything they have. By using an unlikeable character I think it punches in a bigger impact because you can't help but be pulled through it, from all their experiences. The wronged ex wife, the neglected child (playing second best to his precious career) and him, the person as he is and his battle as he is stripped, bit by bit, of the very things we all take for granted every day.

Hard hitting, graphic descriptions and scenes of exactly what this condition steals from you and in such a short period of time. Character development, sadness, grief, relationships, family, love, loss, health and at the end of the book a website you can read more on this and donate. 5/5 for me, I think I went through a whole host of emotions and I have never known anyone personally who has had this, I can only imagine the impact of someone who has reading it. Grab the tissues and comfort food, you will need it. I love these kinds of books because despite it being fiction, because of her career she pulls from actual experience and creates characters to give it heart, a face, ooft it is brutal and lets you learn as you go, absolutely recommend!

I read this last year, no idea why I forgot to post it here, this book has stayed with me!

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Wish You were Here by Jodi Picoult

Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 2 days

Pages - 319

Publisher - Hodder & Stoughton

Source - Netgalley

Blurb from Amazon

Contains an exclusive short story from Jodi Picoult featuring the main character, Diana, available in the first print run only. Pre-order now to guarantee your copy!

Diana O'Toole's life is going perfectly to plan. At twenty-nine, she's up for promotion to her dream job as an art specialist at Sotheby's and she's about to fly to the Galápagos where she's convinced her surgeon boyfriend, Finn, is going to propose.

But then the virus hits New York City and Finn breaks the news: the hospital needs him, he has to stay. But you should still go, he insists. And reluctantly, she agrees.

Once she's in the Galápagos, the world shuts down around her, leaving Diana stranded - albeit in paradise. Completely isolated, with only intermittent news from the outside world, Diana finds herself examining everything that has brought her to this point and wondering if there's a better way to live.

But not everything is as it seems . . .


My Review

Covid has well and truly hit, Diana O'Toole and her doctor boyfriend and meant to be going on holiday. The hospitals are struggling and Finn encourages Diana to go the non refundable trip of a lifetime alone. Paradise has no signal, Diana ends up stranded in a place she doesn't speak the language with only a troubled teen, her angry dad and helpful gran to get through the days. We hear from Finn back home in broken correspondence from the bits of emails/messages that manages to make it across the seas.

So I know this book won't be for everyone because a lot of people don't want to read about covid. Whilst covid does feature in the book in isn't the whole focus or even the main meat of it. Diana goes on a bit of a person journey, self discovery and growth being stranded, very limited communication from back home. I loved the island she goes to, Picoult paints such a vivid picture you could see the places, smells, animals, just serene!

Then we have the aspects of covid, poor Finn, caught in the midst of it, unable to properly talk to Diana, offload, decompress - the things we do with partners during extreme stress. I think if you aren't in healthcare or haven't been affected by covid this is a fantastic book to let you see the devastation, emotional impact that covid can have, on healthcare, on a person, on relationships, there isn't really anything it doesn't impact upon.

Sometimes Picoult can knock the stuffing out of you in some of what she writes or how she constructs parts of her story. I actually uttered the words out loud "No Waaaaaay" during one part and that my friends is a teaser not a spoiler! I really liked this book, I think she wrote a really hard subject and humanised it by creating the characters the way she did. 4/5 for me this time, I do enjoy Picoult's books and have at least one or two more to catch up on so I have read them all. I need to bump them up the tbrm, this reminded me how much I like her writing!

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Love and Care by Shaun Deeney

Love & Care by Shaun Deeney
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 3 days

Pages - 326

Publisher - Endeavor

Source - Vine

Blurb from Goodreads

Shaun is determined to put the past behind him. No longer brooding on his divorce, and with his two daughters grown up, he is making a fresh start in a new country. And hoping to find love one more time. Until the sudden death of his father changes everything.

With his mother in a care home, Shaun knows he has to make a choice: leave his mother there, or give up his new-found freedom to look after her himself in the home she once shared with his father.

Love and Care charts his first year caring for his mother who has Parkinson's dementia; a woman he loves deeply but realises he hardly knows as he tries to connect with her through music, food and everyday joys. Can he face the challenges and prove the doubters wrong? And what will the decision mean for his chances of finding love?

Writing with raw honesty and humour, Shaun reflects on his own relationships - as a son, a father, and as a man. He explores our ability to keep hope alive, to forgive and be forgiven. Along the way he learns that letting go may just be the most valuable lesson in love.

Framed by the changing seasons, Love and Care is a story of redemption, and a celebration of our capacity to love, in all its forms.




My Review

Thisis Shaun's very honest and open journey about his decision and experiences of taking care of his mother. She had been in a care home, when Sean's father passes he decided to move home and bring his mother back to where she knows. She has Parkinson's dementia, Shaun has never been a carer, everyone is a skeptic, this is his and his mother's journey.

This isn't like many of the books I have read from true story healthcare/memoir type stories, whilst it does address the caring aspect there is a lot that does not. We follow Shaun through his decision, how he goes about it and the obstacles he faces. Experiences with mum getting an infection, trying to get carers, getting the home ready however it also concentrates on Shaun. Shaun's journey, thoughts, feelings, past and present, doubts, feelings, trying to date whilst taking on his mother's care. Money worries, paperwork, his past relationship with his father and everything in between.

The book splits into the four seasons and the firsts looking after his mother. It is a very honest account, his concerns, failings, worries - it very much looks at Shaun and how much he takes on, how being a carer is a huge undertaking. Financial, emotional, physical - if you have never taken on care for another adult who has needs it opens your eyes to how much it takes from you. It is very rewarding too and Shaun details some of the battles he wins on account of his mother, her needs and what he feels is right for her.

There are some touching moments and he has done an amazing thing for his mother, bringing her back to her own home. I think this is one of the first of these books where, I felt, it is more Shaun's story than his mothers. Most of the books I have read are focused on the patient, loved one, cared for individual, it was different and interesting to see the person behind the loved/cared for one.

It is like a diary, not as in written like a diary although it is written in first person, more I mean it is an outpouring from Shaun, of his journey, the caring journey through the eyes of the carer, 3.5/5 for me.

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Can You Hear Me? by Jake Jones

Can You Hear Me? by Jake Jones
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 304

Publisher - Quercus

Source - Review copy

Blurb from Goodreads

A memoir of the chaos, intensity and occasional beauty of life as a paramedic.

A young man has stopped breathing in a supermarket toilet. A pedestrian with a nasty head injury won't let the crew near him on a busy road. A newborn baby is worryingly silent. An addict urinates on the ambulance floor when denied a fix. This is the life of an ambulance paramedic.

Jake Jones has worked in the UK ambulance service for ten years: every day, he sees a dozen of the scenes we hope to see only once in a lifetime. Can You Hear Me? - the first thing he says when he arrives on the scene - is a memoir of the chaos, intensity and occasional beauty of life on the front-lines of medicine in the UK.

As well as a look into dozens of extraordinary scenes - the hoarder who won't move his collection to let his ailing father leave the house, the blood-soaked man who tries to escape from the ambulance, the life saved by a lucky crew who had been called to see someone else entirely - Can You Hear Me? is an honest examination of the strains and challenges of one of the most demanding and important jobs anyone can do.



My Review

I feel I should open with a huge THANK YOU to everyone who puts on the paramedic uniform. The book gives us a brief glimpse into the working life of the heros in green. Jones takes us through some of the things he has seen in his career over a decade, the characters he has met along the way and his relationship with his co workers.

I think every person in the UK should be reading this book, the abuse of this amazing service is utterly appalling. From Physical abuse, verbal abuse to the misuse of the system, the manipulation - some folk will be utterly horrified at the behaviour of some of our fellow humans. It also highlights the amazing work and some of the horrors these guys see day in and day out.

Not that long ago we saw bampots leaving notes on ambulances because their driveway or car was being blocked. Reading this book may make them rethink their behaviour and appreciate the (often) life saving work/treatment they are doing. But for the grace of God go I, any moment it could be us in need, our heart stopped beating or that of someone we love *touch wood* these heros need/deserve much more appreciation - actually even just respect (how bad is it this needs to be said!). Ha sorry I have went off on a rant whoops.

The book covers some heart stopping (literally) moments, some touching, some ridiculous and some that will stay with the reader long after the last page. I think stories like these are so important, especially now, people can be so self involved. This reminds us how precious life can be, how things can change on a dime and you never know what is around the corner, be kind and look after yourself, we cannot pour from an empty cup, 4/5 for me. I have bought quite a few true life healthcare type stories, hopefully get to them sooner rather than later.

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Worth Fighting For by Lisa Niemi Swayze

Worth Fighting For: Love, Loss, and Moving Forward by Lisa Niemi Swayze
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - as able over 4 days

Pages - 336

Publisher - Atria Books

Source - Bought

Blurb from Goodreads

Wait a minute . . .
. . . there.

I made it to the next moment.

And that’s how you get through a bad moment of grief. You do it one moment at a time.

—from Worth Fighting For


My Review

This is Patrick Swayze's wife book about their time together, pre and post diagnosis, treatment and through his lie and when he passes on. Written almost in diary form, first person, some thoughts lifted and put in amongst the chapters. Each chapter has a photograph at the header. We learn about their relationship, married for over 30 years, how Lisa dealt with Hollywood/fame being mrs Swayze and the heartbreaking diagnosis and journey that followed.

You can tell this book has been a form of therapy, you can feel the emotion outpouring in some of the chapters. The parts dealing with the ins and outs, how Lisa got through each day being there for her husband, keeping on top of the treatments, keeping upbeat, being supportive and dealing with the press. The newspapers and how some people invaded their lives, the crass and disgusting behavior and blatant lies told to sell newspapers. Think of the person you love, dying, trying to keep positive, going through day to day and reading horrific lies, death predictions splashed all over the news. I really do feel for celebrities at times and their families, it is like people forget their are human, nothing is sacred and I felt so bad for Patrick's family and wife, especially at one point his poor wee mum. You can't even imagine trying to deal with a diagnosis like that and keep positive when lies and death speculation is spread all over the papers. Now it would be worse with online so popular and easily accessible.

I hope if nothing else this book makes people think about how exploited people can be all in the name of flogging some newspapers. I loved watching Patrick Swayze movies growing up, I remember being shocked to find out he sang She's Like The Wind - he has such a beautiful voice. I learned more about him as a person in this book and as with anyone, reading about anyone going through cancer - it is an emotive read. If you have lost someone to cancer or had someone diagnoses with it I think you will find some parts of the book hard hitting, if you haven't I think you will still find it an emotive read. 4/5 for me this time, after finishing this I find myself re watching some of the old movies - he was a fabulous actor (in my opinion) and from reading this book he seemed like a genuinely nice human being. I hope writing this brought his wife some peace, your heart goes out to anyone losing someone to cancer and these days it seems most of us have.

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The Longest Farewell by Nula Suchet Blog Tour

Today is my stop on the blog tour for "The Longest Farewell" by Nula Suchet, a LoveBooksTour.




Please check out the other stops on the tour, we all offer different content.









Blurb

When Nula's husband James, a British documentary filmmaker, becomes forgetful they put it down to the stress of his work. But his behavior becomes more erratic and inexplicable, and he is eventually diagnosed as suffering from Picks Disease, an early onset and aggressive form of dementia. Suddenly their lives change from comfortable middle-class creatives through inexplicable behaviour, the shock of diagnosis, coping with the ongoing illness, not coping with the illness, to the indignities of care home life. The Longest Farewell is a moving description of James utter mental and physical deterioration, and the effect that it had both on him and on the people from whom he was involuntarily retreating, particularly Nula. Her life is completely taken over by James illness: her frustration at trying to cope, her guilt at having to hand over his care to professionals in England, are just part of her at times harrowing story.

With James in care and left with seemingly little to do but wait for his death, Nula meets Bonnie, another resident at the care home suffering from the same condition. In turn she meets Bonnie's husband, the broadcaster John Suchet and the similarity of their positions becomes a bond between them. After the deaths of James and Bonnie, and some guilt-induced false starts, Nula's story takes a bitter-sweet turn: they become partners, and eventually marry. The Longest Farewell is a heartfelt yet inspiring account of dealing with dementia, and of unexpectedly finding a happy ending.

Buy Link

https://amzn.to/39ME7gC

About the author




Nula Suchet

Nula Suchet was born in Ireland, part of a large family. After a difficult early life she became an interior designer who worked internationally in the UK, Europe and the US. Now retired, she lives in London with her husband, the broadcaster John Suchet, who she met in the care home where their spouses were being cared for with dementia. Her book, The Longest Farewell, on dealing with her husband's dementia and the heartbreak that came with it is available now.

You can find the author on Twitter

@nulasuchet

@SerenBooks

@LoveBooksTours

For my stop I have my review.

The Longest Farewell: James, Dementia and Me by Nula Suchet
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 280

Publisher - Seren

Source - Review book

Blurb from back cover

Dementia crept early into the life of James Black, insidious and unannounced. The result was a long farewell to him as he changed from a happy and successful film maker into a completely dependent care home resident, and stranger to his wife Nula.

Yet after seven stressful years, Nula's life unexpectedly changed when she met a man whose wife was also a dementia patient in the home. Her friendship with John Suchet become a relationship, but theirs is a difficult road. There is joy, but also despair and guilt. Is even a moment of happiness allowed when their loves ones are in a slow decline towards death? Theirs is a story that plumbs the depths but also reaches a happiness that they thought they would never experience.


My Review

Told in first person narrative we step into Nula's world, from the very beginnings of something not being right, to diagnosis and thereafter living with her husband's descent into dementia. I have read a few books about dementia now, Suchet's is different in that this is her story, her footsteps, her life living with the devastation brought about by dementia. Written almost in diary format, Sachet writes down her experiences and shapes it together into this book, her pre, during and post dementia.

Often we hear or see dementia affecting our loved ones as they age but some people see their lives turned upside down by it coming much earlier. This is what happens with James, James is still young, fit, has a career and a very happy marriage. Nula starts to notice small things, things that can be explained away however as more incidents happen Nula can no longer ignore it. With her very honest recollections we, the reader, live each of them and walk down the road as dementia strips her husband of everything that made him him.

Often when we hear dementia we see older adults, elderly and devastating as they loose who they are, their memories, their abilities. In this book, as well as all of that we see a different side, that of a wife losing her husband, the intimacy, the suspicion from people when they see a middle age man "acting out". The struggles of simple things such as going out for a meal, trying to travel, trying to get help when she finally accepted she needed it and what she endured before she got to that stage.

The book also looks at an unlikely friendship, a kindred spirit experiencing the loss that Nula is living and the guilt that is associated. How do you experience joy, a moment for yourself, happiness, friendship without guilt when you are watching the person you love slowly lose everything about themselves. An emotive book, it makes you want to grab your loved ones and hug them hard, appreciate what you have because you never know the minute. 4.5/5 for me this time, I need to look up the book written by John, the friend she makes who is also experiencing the same loss/heartache as his wife goes through a similar journey to James.



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The Art of Dying by Ambrose Parry

The Art of Dying by Ambrose Parry
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 416

Publisher - Canongate Books

Source - Netgalley

Blurb from Goodreads

Edinburgh, 1850. Despite being at the forefront of modern medicine, hordes of patients are dying all across the city, with doctors finding their remedies powerless. But it is not just the deaths that dismay the esteemed Dr James Simpson - a whispering campaign seeks to blame him for the death of a patient in suspicious circumstances.

Simpson's protégé Will Raven and former housemaid Sarah Fisher are determined to clear their patron's name. But with Raven battling against the dark side of his own nature, and Sarah endeavouring to expand her own medical knowledge beyond what society deems acceptable for a woman, the pair struggle to understand the cause of the deaths.

Will and Sarah must unite and plunge into Edinburgh's deadliest streets to clear Simpson's name. But soon they discover that the true cause of these deaths has evaded suspicion purely because it is so unthinkable.


My Review

Let me start off saying this is book two in a series, I didn't realise and I don't think I have been hampered by not reading book one. There are a few throwbacks and brief recaps of things that happened with book one so you can get away with starting with this one, if starting mid series doesn't make you twitchy.

The time is 1850, the place is Edinburgh and as is nature, people are dying. However some of them are not as should be and one well respected doctor, doctor Simpson, one of the patients was his. With a smear campaign kicking off and whispers of wrongful death of this patient, his understudy Will Raven reluctantly looks into the case and finds more than he bargained for. Will is prompted into action by Sarah, once a house maid to Doctor Simpson, now married to a doctor herself, Sarah has always been interested in medicine. At a time when women should be seen and not heard, married and tied to the sink, Sarah has always been supported and encouraged by doctor Simpson so she has a dual interest in the case.

The book has quite a few layers to it, Will and Sarah have a past, Sarah is now married, Will is very career focused and being involved with a house maid, for him, would negatively impact his career. Yet now he is back, Sarah is in a very different social standing and Will is having to battle his actions and consequences. Investigating who would have it out for doctor Simpson, the mysterious deaths and one of my fave things about this book, medicine back then! Add to all that we get wee snippets from the killer, an insight into their mind and what they are doing, I think when this is done well it really adds to a story. I do like a book is woven with historical facts, considering I never used to bother with historical fiction I do find myself enjoying them more as I get older. I also like books where you learn stuff as you go coupled with the fact is it set somewhere I have visited! Medicine itself is always evolving, practices changing, attitudes and procedures so I do like when you read of things past and then go off to read more in depth around X subject. I liked this one so much I will be buying book one and looking out eagerly for the next in the series, 4.5/5 for me this time. If you like murder mystery, medicine, books in the past, relationships and investigation this one will tick all the boxes for you!

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The Prison Doctor by Dr Amanda Brown

The Prison Doctor by Amanda Brown
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1.5 days

Pages - 288

Publisher - H Q Stories

Source - Bought

Blurb from Goodreads

Dr Amanda Brown has treated inmates in the UK’s most infamous prisons – first in young offenders’ institutions, then at the notorious Wormwood Scrubs and finally at Europe’s largest women-only prison in Europe, Bronzefield. From miraculous pregnancies to dirty protests, and from violent attacks on prisoners to heartbreaking acts of self-harm, she has witnessed it all. In this memoir, Amanda reveals the stories, the patients and the cases that have shaped a career helping those most of us would rather forget.


My Review

Meet Doctor Amanda Brown, a GP who set up her own practice and looked after thousands of patients in her community. When her partners focus more on bringing in money via bonuses than patient focus being number one she has had enough. After a few choices/actions Amanda takes the steps to working as a doctor in the prisons, these are her stories of just some of the things she has seen and done.

From just knowing this is about health care in a prison everyone should know it is likely to be brutal, it is. Some of the things that happen to these people, how desperate they are and some of their own behaviors is pretty distressing.

It takes a very brave person to work in a prison and we see through Doctor Brown and her colleagues the passion and drive they have to do so. This is not a book for someone with a weak stomach or easily upset. There is violence, abuse, self harm, blood, distressing scenes and the stark reality of what it is like giving care to those who are in prison.

Compelling reading, really sad in places to be honest and dark. Whether you work in a healthcare setting or do something completely different I think this book is an eye opener and many people would find it interesting, I don't want to say would like it as it isn't the appropriate word due to some of the content. 4/5 for me, I would absolutely read more by this author or around this type of topic.

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Second Lives by P D Cacek Blog Tour

Today is my stop on the blog tour for Second Lives, if you haven't checked the other stops please do as we all offer different content.

Can we just take a minute to appreciate the book cover, it got quite a lot of comments when I posted it so my social media channels, rightly so!





For My Stop on the tour I have my review, non spoiler of course, enjoy!


Second Lives by P.D. Cacek
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 2 days (as and when I could)

Pages - 256

Publisher - Flame Tree Press

Source - Review Copy

Blurb from the back cover

A frightened little boy killed in 1956 cries out for his mother from the body of an eighty-one year old Alzheimer's patient. The soul of a spinster killed in a Suffragette rally wakes in the body of a new mother. An Orthodox Jew, murdered in 1922, opens the eyes of a man who just committed suicide and a teenage girl wakes to discover she's now in the body of a forty-five year old woman.

They are completely alone, displaced in bodies that are not their own, and terrified. All must find immense bravery within themselves to transition into their new lives.


My Review

The tagline (and cover) grabbed me on this one, I have read before reincarnation books but this is something different. Each chapter the character's name and timeline is at the top, we then meet the characters, those in their original time period, the lead up to their deaths and those who "die" and are re inhabited. By the time you meet all the characters you are about half way through so I wasn't sure where the book was going to go?

The author, in my opinion, has created a fresh new and frightening story, not in a horror sense but more of a OMG what if, can you imagine and what would you do, humanity rocked. Your loved one dies and then comes back, you are ecstatic but the person who has come back isn't your loved one but someone who has lived previously and now inhabits your loved ones body, can you imagine!

Cacek comes at the story in many angles, the hospital/medical professionals, the people who are replaced? (I don't know what word best applies to the phenomena, travelers?), the travelers themselves and the loved ones dealing with these new people in their loved ones bodies. It looks at humanity, how ordinary people deal with having this emotional trauma flung onto them and those who have been dead and now alive again albeit in different bodies, readjusting, adapting.

The timeline shift for the characters is really interesting, imagine living in the early 1900's - women fighting for basic rights to then being flung into modern day living. Indoor plumbing, flesh on show, speaking when you want rather than when society dictates when a woman should (this is relevant to one character only). Religious beliefs, coming back into the body of someone living a life at odds with your beliefs, a child into an elderly gentleman's body who has Alzheimer's, a teen into an older woman's body with physical limitations. The book doesn't explore these themes in huge depth as it is more about the individuals but it does get the reader thinking, what if? How would you cope? As the traveler, as the family?

Whilst the story itself and characters are fascinating I think the book prompts a lot of in depth thought and musing from the reader, you can't help but imagine being in that position as you read the scenes. How would you react? I didn't want to put it down to see how each situation would play out. A bit of an emotive read at parts as death, grief, suicide, murder, acceptance and loss are huge themes integral to the story. When you have so many characters and time jumps you can easily be put off in books or find it hard going, Cacek does it effortlessly and I had no problems following it, I thought it was really well done. My only complaint would have been to have more! I would have loved the book to go on and sure they say an author is doing their job if they leave the reader wanting more (not hanging, I hate that). 4/5 for me this time, this is my first dance with this author, not sure what their other books are like but I plan to check them out for sure!

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Ashley Bell by Dean Koontz

Ashley Bell by Dean Koontz
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 3 days

Pages - 752

Publisher - Bantam

Source - Bought in America

Blurb from Goodreads


The girl who said no to death.

Bibi Blair is a fierce, funny, dauntless young woman—whose doctor says she has one year to live.

She replies, “We’ll see.”

Her sudden recovery astonishes medical science.

An enigmatic woman convinces Bibi that she escaped death so that she can save someone else. Someone named Ashley Bell.

But save her from what, from whom? And who is Ashley Bell? Where is she?

Bibi’s obsession with finding Ashley sends her on the run from threats both mystical and worldly, including a rich and charismatic cult leader with terrifying ambitions.

Here is an eloquent, riveting, brilliantly paced story with an exhilarating heroine and a twisting, ingenious plot filled with staggering surprises. Ashley Bell is a new milestone in literary suspense from the long-acclaimed master.

My Review

Bibi is a writer and doing pretty well for being in her early twenty's. When she is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer it kicks off a chain of events that changes not only her life but for that of everyone around her. Who is Ashley Bell, why is she so special and how will Bibi find and save her before it is too late?

The book, for me, broke into different sections, the pre and diagnosis and then everything that kicked off after it. Dealing in the occult Bibi opens herself up to supernatural but she needs answers and when the unlikely happens Bibi knows her life is now about Ashley and keeping ahead of "the bad guys".

The book covers so many themes, Bibi's boyfriend is a soldier and we flip through chapters with him undercover and no idea what is going on with Bibi. The others who are threatening of Bibi, the journey to finding Ashley and who are the killers chasing Bibi that will stop at nothing to get her.

The book got a bit confusing at points for me, then would become clear then something else would be started or said and I wasn't sure where it was going. Certainly an interesting story with different tangents and supernatural spookiness, murder, family and health issues. I do like Koontz but think maybe if I got the thinner version maybe I would have enjoyed it more as some parts, to me, just seemed to have little to no bearing on the actual tale. I will read this author again but this isn't my favourite of his to be honest, 3/5 for me this time.

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If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman

If Only I Could Tell You by Hannah Beckerman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 1 day

Pages - 368

Publisher - Orion

Source - Review Copy

Blurb from Goodreads

Audrey's family has fallen apart. Her two grown-up daughters, Jess and Lily, are estranged, and her two teenage granddaughters have never been allowed to meet. A secret that echoes back thirty years has splintered the family in two, but is also the one thing keeping them connected.

As tensions reach breaking point, the irrevocable choice that one of them made all those years ago is about to surface. After years of secrets and silence, how can one broken family find their way back to each other?


My Review

The prologue opens in 1988 with an event that we, the reader, aren't too sure exactly what it is but will have a lasting impact on the family across the years. We flip to current day 2016 with Audrey, Audrey has to make huge changes to her life for health reasons and finds herself, as always, split between her two daughters, Jess and Lily. They haven't spoken in years and Audrey wants more than anything for these two to reconcile before it is too late but can you move on in the future when you haven't dealt with a past that is tearing you apart?

There are no two ways about it this book is a hell of an emotive rollercoaster, it touches on so many life issues that will evoke tears from the most hardened reader. Family, secrets, lies, love, loss, grief, heartache, health issues and so much more. It is hard to mention all the themes because you run the risk of spoilers and I never do a spoiler review.

I think depending on the life experiences you have had, grief and losses will absolutely impact upon how you receive this book. I hate using the word trigger but for many there will be triggers in this book, it reflects on the hardships, loss, grief and utter injustice that life sometimes hands out to folk, hence being an emotive read. I think what some will take comfort from in this story whilst others may feel too raw in their own experiences. It is testament to the authors writing skills to pen a book that can draw out different responses from so many from certain scenes.

The sisters I found hard to fathom at times, more so Jess in how she behaved in view of what was going on in that particular moment. That said, as the book reveals its secrets you get a better understanding of why the characters behave the way they do. Again for me, depending on your own personal experiences will impact on how you react to some scenes and Jess I felt I could reach in and slap/shake. This comes down to my own life experiences and any writer that can get a reader to pull reality from fiction, strong emotions is doing their job and then some.

This book has been so loved and I enjoyed it if enjoy is the right word to apply considering some of the content. If you aren't emotionally vulnerable going in you may well be when you finish it, a story that kicks you in the emotionals and keeps you going page after page hoping and praying for it to go the way you want it to, 3.5/5 for me this time. This was my first dance with Beckerman, it won't be my last.

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Every Colour of You by Amelia Mandeville

Today is my stop on the blog tour for debut novel "Every Colour of You" by Amelia Mandeville.





Every Colour of You by Amelia Mandeville
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - when I could over 3 days (work)

Pages - 400

Publisher - Sphere

Source - Review Copy

Blurb from Goodreads

Living back at home and spending most of her time behind a checkout till, it's fair to say things aren't going quite as Zoe had planned. But she's determined to live every day to the full, and she's spreading her mission of happiness, one inspirational quote at a time.

Since his dad died, Tristan has been struggling with a sadness that threatens to overtake everything. He can't face seeing his friends, can't stop fighting with his brother, and as much as he pretends to be better, the truth is he can't even remember what 'normal' feels like.

One person can change everything.

When these two meet, Zoe becomes determined to bring the missing colour back into Tristan's life. But the harder she tries to change the way Tristan sees the world, the more she realises it's something she can't fix - and in trying to put him back together, a part of her is beginning to break . . .

A novel to break your heart and put it back together again - Every Colour of You is the debut novel from Amelia Mandeville, with heart-wrenchingly relatable characters, big emotions and an unforgettable story.



Blurb from Goodreads

Meet Tristan, from the opening chapter we know he has just been through something intense and very quickly learn of his ongoing battle with his mental health. Zoe explodes into his life very quickly and this story is theirs, meeting in a hospital waiting area and every day that passes there after. Each chapter flips from Tristan and Zoe, headed each one so we know who is speaking and each in first person narrative. A reluctant friendship, decided on by the headstrong Zoe who is hiding some secrets herself!

We know Tristan is suffering and trying to just get through each day. Zoe is a lighter than life character, little miss positive to the point of annoying at times. Tristan had the life anyone would want before it all changed, popular, handsome, university life, girls at his heels. Now Tristan doesn't know how to get through the days, his mental health is an uphill struggle every single day and then there is Zoe. Tristan has no option, Zoe has decided to invade his life and she isn't going anywhere, they ARE going to be friends. The story allows the reader a glimpse of life with the black dog, the feelings, the not knowing why you feel how you feel, the lows, the lack of control and the impact of of that has on the individual and those around them.

Both the characters are very different and whilst Zoe is very positive and strong willed you get a hint of something, but not sure what, isn't quite what she projects. It is an emotive read when you get into it and how Tristan impacts on Zoe with some of his struggles is a bit hard to read but I think many readers will be able to identify with it when close to someone like Tristan. Mental health, dysfunctional families, friendship, health, grief, loss, love and personal growth are just some of the issues covered in this debut novel. It took me a wee bit to settle to this one but once I did I couldn't put it down to see where it was going and what was next for these two. Emotive and tough reading in places, shining a light on some very important issues that even in 2018 society shys away from or misunderstands, 4/5 for me this time. I look forward to seeing what Mandeville puts out next, a book that will stay with you after you finish the last page!

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