Tuesday 19 October 2021

Love and Care by Shaun Deeney

Love & CareLove & Care by Shaun Deeney
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Time taken to read - 3 days

Pages - 326

Publisher - Endeavor

Source - Vine

Blurb from Goodreads

Shaun is determined to put the past behind him. No longer brooding on his divorce, and with his two daughters grown up, he is making a fresh start in a new country. And hoping to find love one more time. Until the sudden death of his father changes everything.

With his mother in a care home, Shaun knows he has to make a choice: leave his mother there, or give up his new-found freedom to look after her himself in the home she once shared with his father.

Love and Care charts his first year caring for his mother who has Parkinson's dementia; a woman he loves deeply but realises he hardly knows as he tries to connect with her through music, food and everyday joys. Can he face the challenges and prove the doubters wrong? And what will the decision mean for his chances of finding love?

Writing with raw honesty and humour, Shaun reflects on his own relationships - as a son, a father, and as a man. He explores our ability to keep hope alive, to forgive and be forgiven. Along the way he learns that letting go may just be the most valuable lesson in love.

Framed by the changing seasons, Love and Care is a story of redemption, and a celebration of our capacity to love, in all its forms.

My Review

Thisis Shaun's very honest and open journey about his decision and experiences of taking care of his mother. She had been in a care home, when Sean's father passes he decided to move home and bring his mother back to where she knows. She has Parkinson's dementia, Shaun has never been a carer, everyone is a skeptic, this is his and his mother's journey.

This isn't like many of the books I have read from true story healthcare/memoir type stories, whilst it does address the caring aspect there is a lot that does not. We follow Shaun through his decision, how he goes about it and the obstacles he faces. Experiences with mum getting an infection, trying to get carers, getting the home ready however it also concentrates on Shaun. Shaun's journey, thoughts, feelings, past and present, doubts, feelings, trying to date whilst taking on his mother's care. Money worries, paperwork, his past relationship with his father and everything in between.

The book splits into the four seasons and the firsts looking after his mother. It is a very honest account, his concerns, failings, worries - it very much looks at Shaun and how much he takes on, how being a carer is a huge undertaking. Financial, emotional, physical - if you have never taken on care for another adult who has needs it opens your eyes to how much it takes from you. It is very rewarding too and Shaun details some of the battles he wins on account of his mother, her needs and what he feels is right for her.

There are some touching moments and he has done an amazing thing for his mother, bringing her back to her own home. I think this is one of the first of these books where, I felt, it is more Shaun's story than his mothers. Most of the books I have read are focused on the patient, loved one, cared for individual, it was different and interesting to see the person behind the loved/cared for one.

It is like a diary, not as in written like a diary although it is written in first person, more I mean it is an outpouring from Shaun, of his journey, the caring journey through the eyes of the carer, 3.5/5 for me.

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